The Stages of Acceptance of Your Child's Autism Diagnosis

The stages a parent goes through after learning of an autism diagnosis in their child are often described using Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' model. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are very real and not necessarily linear. However, learning about what each stage may bring will hopefully help ease the confusion, loneliness, sadness, and impotence you are experiencing today.

Though commonly known as the Stages of Grief, we would rather refer to these as Stages of Acceptance, which is more aligned with the vision of progress, love, and action that lies ahead for you and your child.

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Stages of Acceptance

Denial

While some parents feel shocked when learning of their child's autism diagnosis, others act with disbelief. You may probably think there is a mistake and seek a third, fourth, and fifth opinion.

On the upside, denial may move you to seek answers and the help of professionals in the field. However, it may also paralyze you and delay action.

Anger

Anger is considered a healthy reaction to the frustration and stress associated with overwhelming news. Unfortunately, it may manifest itself as rage toward yourself, your children, your spouse, or the Universe itself. Parents often aim their anger toward the professional who announces the diagnosis.

Think of anger as a mechanism that helps us release tension and find a way to vent that doesn't hurt your relationship with others or harm you.

Bargaining

At this point, magical thinking kicks in. You will promise yourself, a higher power or an expert, to do certain things to change the diagnosis. Or you may buy into the idea that specific treatment, class, or therapy will bring a definite "solution."

Autism is not a disease; be suspicious of anyone who promises a "cure" or an easy fix."

Depression

After the initial shock, there comes deep sadness and grief. Consciously or not, we all entertain visions of our children's future. Parents of children with autism mourn that vision.

Allowing yourself to experience this sadness is necessary to move to a place of acceptance and action.

Acceptance

Eventually, you will accept the diagnosis as inevitable. The path forward will become clearer. You will find power in asking questions and in learning the answers. At this stage, many families are more eager to investigate treatment options and get support from others experiencing a similar situation.

This is not the end of the road. There will be times when the previous stages will come back in various forms and degrees. But there is also hope, progress, and joy in the journey.

If you are ready to get help from experienced professional, ACES can help. We are an autism therapy center and have been dedicated to improving the lives of those impacted by Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and other developmental disabilities. We offer a variety of autism therapy services including ABA therapy. ABA therapy is one of the best ways to help individuals with autism reach their full potential while also changing long-standing hurtful perceptions of autism along the way. If you are ready to get started, contact us or find an ACES location near you today!